#Ashtag Week #19: Wishes and Guesses

Ashtag191 December is upon us. The year 2014 is nearing a close, and we're quickly approaching 2015. According to pop culture of the past, we are firmly in the "future" now. Our cars don't fly, but we have nearly every bit of information we could need in our pockets. I'm referring to our Internet-accessible phones, but some of you may have a pocket-sized almanac. I can't wait until we all have projectors on our phones, so we can force feed our photos and videos to anyone standing near us. Unfollow me now, Grandma!

I've drifted too far into the future; let's get to know the present day. As usual, most of the top Google searches involve sports. The NFL is big stuff, you guys. I wish that I could give you some sports briefs with some semblance of knowledge. Okay, wish is a strong word. If I really wished it, I'd start watching and immerse myself in the world of sporting. I don't wish to do that. If you wish that I'd provide some insight on sports, reach out to me and let me know. I imagine this is where the sound of crickets chime in.

So, what is a non-sports top Google search? Snooki. Snooki got married, ya'll. Let me say that I do know who Snooki is. I've never seen any Jersey Shore, but I know that's where she gained fame. Is Jersey Shore still relevant? That was five years ago, right? Whoa. I just did some research, and Jersey Shore debuted on December 3, 2009. Five years ago. I'm good at this guessing stuff.

"And I evolved into this vintage, classic, and timeless person," said Snooki, about growing up. I fear now that saying I'm good at guessing may have sounded braggy like calling myself vintage. My brag was in jest. It was also substantiated, but I guess only by myself. I guess.

So, I went to find the top hashtags of this past week. I saw one, #un, that I thought maybe was a way to say something was uncool. I guessed wrong. This hashtag refers to the United Nations. And it's currently popular. How neat is that? Well, here's the thing, #un appears to mostly be trending outside of the U.S. Most of the tweets associated with it are not in English. In fact, many of the top Twitter hashtags are not in English. I often look at them and think they're just hip slang words that I don't know yet in #hashtag form, but they're actually Portuguese or Spanish. I can hardly keep up with American pop culture; I can't chase behind international trends, too. Sorry.

Ashtag192

For this week's music video education, I'm getting a little personal. I have a friend who will be attending a 2 Chainz concert next week and will get to go backstage. He talks about it a lot, and I have no idea what he's talking about. So, I'm going to watch some 2 Chainz vids. Some of these are a couple years old, so they may be slightly irrelevant, but let's consider it a make-up class.

He has a song called, "Fork." I'm watching this first. The title seems to be referring to a dream he had where rap wouldn't work and he had to hit it with a fork. Makes sense to me. And if I had to count the number of times I've asked my mom if she took money from my pants...actually, I don't know if I have done that. But I relate to the sentiment.

Oh hey! This is my jam, A$AP ROCKY's "F**kin' Problems." I never noticed that 2 Chainz was a feature. I've been familiar with his work all along. What else don't I know that I know?

Ashley Bright is a writer/performer at Dallas Comedy House. She’s a graduate of and an instructor for the DCH Improv Training Program. You can see her perform every weekend at Dallas Comedy House.