#Ashtag Week #23: Deja Vu Kabobbles

We're back! I hope you didn't forget that #Ashtag will now be a monthly installment. If you did forget, well then, surprise! We're back to scour the Internet for all things trending to keep ourselves feeling hip and young. Is it working yet? The top Google searches this week mostly consist of sports. I guess it's a big time of year for football. Cool.

Whitney Houston is a top search on Google. The Lifetime network just aired Whitney's biopic titled Whitney. The TV movie is getting a lot of buzz, because Whitney's family did not authorize it, and are very publicly outraged. The family is particularly upset, because the movie is directed by Angela Bassett, whom they say should have done a better job honoring and respecting Whitney because they were friends. In reading the article, I noticed the small screenshot from the movie. I immediately recognized the actress playing Whitney as a contestant from an early season of America's Next Top Model, Yaya. I am not proud to admit that I've seen almost every episode of ANTM (that is an official acronym, folks). Tyra Banks is crazy and the show is terrible, but I just can't get enough. I never liked Yaya on the show, but good for her and her Lifetime movie achievement.

Speaking of lifetime achievement, Betty White just had her 93rd birthday. If you want to see something adorable, I suggest you watch a video of her getting a surprised with a flash mob dancing for her. She's just too cute and the surprise really seems to tickle her amusement bone. Watching it made me want to watch some Golden Girls. I may do that before I go to sleep tonight. How's that for staying young and hip?

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Okay. A top music video is Sia's "Elastic Heart" ft Shia LaBeouf and Maddie Ziegler. I actually first learned of Sia when writing an earlier edition of #Ashtag, and I've previously mentioned LaBeouf here. We're all just going to have to accept the repetition, because these two are relevant. Sia was the most recent musical guest on Saturday Night Live. And the Beef is in her video looking like a beefcake out of the movie 300. He has a beard and is dancing with a child in a giant birdcage. It's weird, and it'll make you feel weird.

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An ad played before the music video that caught my eye. It was for Lunchables Uploaded. The ad was super x-gamesy, reminiscent of Mountain Dew videos of yore. Or recent Mountain Dew ads? I don't know how current Mountain Dew ads are skewed. But Lunchables appear to be extreme now. After more research, I discovered there is a Web series called Lunchables Uploaded. The series stars Rob Dyrdek interviewing fellow sports stars. I guess Lunchables have come a long way from the humble ham and crackers. Crackers can't compete with "Chicken Dunks" or "Chicken Popper Kabobbles." Both of those are real names and are separate products.

I'd like to thank you for riding along on this pop culture journey. If you're like me, you might come out of this feeling a little older and a little more out of touch. But knowing is half the battle, and now you know some stuff. So, please come back every third Monday of the month to gain some more useless knowledge.

Ashley Bright is a writer/performer at Dallas Comedy House. She’s a graduate of and an instructor for the DCH Improv Training Program. You can see her perform every weekend at Dallas Comedy House.