#Ashtag Week 3: Vangents, Tinder, and More Sports

By Ashley Bright Okay, let's hit it. If you've read my previous two installments then you are already aware of what we're doing here. If you haven't, please allow me to give you a brief rundown. I am not up to date on popular culture. In an effort to not remain completely out of touch from the rest of the world, I am immersing myself in all things trending on the Internet.

If this writing thing doesn't work out, maybe this golfing thing will.

This week the top Google searches consisted of quite a few sad things, like the passing of James Garner and Elaine Stritch, news on Malaysian airlines, Gaza, etc. I keep myself fairly aware of the news, so it's not cheating if I move onto lesser searched, but more chipper topics. Sports are hot again this week. Rory McIlroy is an Irish golfer who won the British Open. The British Open is a golf tournament, and much like my other sports discoveries, I did not know that until now. My mom has played a lot of golf in my life, but I'm still not versed in the lingo. What's a birdie? There are just some things I may not be meant to know. Until I pick up my golfing habit. I think I could pull off a white visor and a sleeveless lady polo. Okay, let's move on. McIlroy may be highly searched, but I don't think he's what all the young kiddos are getting into.

Topping the YouTube charts, we've got Conan O'Brien and Dave Franco getting on Tinder. I'm aware of the Tinder dating/meeting folks in your area/hooking up app. On this video, Conan and Dave each make up new names for themselves, and each create a profile using pictures of their real selves. They each match-up with a 74 year old woman. Now see, she is a shining example of why I am doing this #ashtag experience. Let's all hope that when I reach that age that I, too, will be able to join a hook-up app (or whatever word they use for the hologram interfaces shining out of our eyeballs), and be an old lady creeper. Dave discloses that he is doing a bit with Conan, and asks to meet up with a young lady. They drive to meet her in their Tinder van.

I mean, this is kind of every girl's (or guy's) dream date, right

You'll now have to excuse me as I go on a van tangent. A vangent, ha (I'm sorry). In high school, during AP Calculus of my senior year, I spent a very long time writing in great detail about my dream vehicle: a black van with no windows and hot pink trim. I remember very clearly the work that I put into my van description, along with the background noise made up of derivatives and proofs. Needless to say, I did not do well in that class. My van had super comfy white couches and state-of-the art media equipment, which I believe at that time was a Playstation 2. I've spent too many words on this vangent (I'm sorry again). But please stop me some time and ask me to tell you more about this van. I would love nothing more than to have that conversation multiple times.

Let's move onto some of the highest used hashtags over the past few days. World Cup chatter is finally on the decline, with related hashtags moving down in the ranks. The #2 and #3 are #android and #androidgames, respectively. Notice how I used the # symbol for both it's old school usage and for hashtagging. I'm transforming! The #1 hashtag is #gameinsight, which also appears to be related to Android games. I must admit something to you now: I've never played Candy Crush. Not even once. I've never even looked over the shoulder of someone else playing it. I dabbled in Angry Birds and I have a few Words With Friends games going, but that's my current limit on phone gaming. Over the next week, I am going to find the most popular game and sink myself into it. Next week's #ashtag will loop you in on my progress. I may become an addict, who knows? I may only look up from my phone to have a conversation about my van, a convansation (I'm not sorry). You'll just have to tune in next week to find out.

Ashley Bright is a graduate of the DCH improv program and a level 2 sketch writing student. She's also an intern for the DCH Blog. Ashley performs every weekend at Dallas Comedy House.