So You Found a Baby Bird by Eric Van Leeuwen

Nature is beautiful! But what do you do when you’re outside and come across a baby bird? These simple steps will ensure that you take care of that little birdie and give it the best life possible!


1. Look around for the bird’s parents.

○      If you don’t see a nest or a couple of angry adult birds nearby, congratulations! This baby is yours now! Wrap her in the blanket you had as a child and bring her home. Name her after your grandmother. And don’t forget about babyproofing your home… you’re a parent now!

2. Start a college fund.

○      It’s never too early to think about your new bird child’s future. You may hope she stays close to home and becomes a Richland Thunderduck, but your baby may have high hopes of becoming a Jayhawk in Kansas or an Eagle in Boston. Consider a 529 College Savings Plan to help your little girl achieve her birdie dreams.

3. Make some memories.

○      Your baby won’t stay a baby for long, so treasure this time you have with her. Plan trips south of the border during the cold months, or you and your bird daughter might join the Audubon Society together. These moments are precious, and you won’t want to miss out on them.

4. Enjoy your empty nest.

○      Once your baby has moved out, you might feel like a piece of you is missing. After all, you’ve spent so much of your life caring for her, feeding her, and making sure all of her birdie needs are met. But you deserve this time to yourself! Take advantage of these moments, because before you know it, your daughter will be back with babies of her own… you’ll be a grandparent! Some birds can have 4 or 5 nests during a single breeding season, so rest up while you can!

5. Reflect on a life well-lived.

○      We all get older, and as you approach your final days, think of all the good you have done for your bird daughter and how empty your life felt before she came into it. She has a family of her own now, and you can pass on to the next world knowing that you have left a wonderful legacy that started with finding that little bundle of joy on the ground.

So this summer if you encounter a little baby bird who seems far from home, don’t worry! Just remember - everyone is someone’s child, and now this bird is yours!


Eric Van Leeuwen writes, performs comedy, and does most of his other daily tasks in Dallas, Texas. He was once named Mr. Congeniality in a male beauty pageant and is determined to not let you forget it.