Each week, or maybe every other week if we’re lazy, we’ll feature a Dallas Comedy House performer and get to know him or her a little better by using questions that Playboy centerfolds are usually asked. If you’d like to volunteer to be a centerfold before we come for you, email us and let us know. The only requirement is that we need a full-length, CLOTHED, photo of yourself for, you know, the centerfold part. This edition of Comedy Centerfold features Mariam Ashmawy. You may have seen her at DCH running the lights and sounds and pretty much being a badass. Lately, though, you can watch her perform with the new house troupe, Radio! Radio!, which is....wait a minute. Mariam, did you just write that you love avocado smoothies? Excuse me, I have to go wash my eyes out.
Hometown? Lewisville, TX. Home of the fightin’ farmers.
Guilty Pleasures? Glee, the music of Lil Wayne, the movie White Chicks. Judge Judy. I have seen every episode, and I’m really upset she’s retiring. In fact, I don’t really feel guilty about my love of JJ—I’m rather proud of it. Brilliant, just brilliant. The importance of Judge Judy to me will become apparent in subsequent answers.
Ambitions? Do cool stuff. Meet cool people. Be cool. Bake awesome/pretty cakes for people’s b-days, learn to take pictures without my finger in the frame.
Best Concert? ‘Nsync, No Strings Attached Tour. I was in 9th grade. My dad dropped me off at Reunion Arena after buying a single ticket off a scalper in the parking lot. My dad gave me $20 before he left, I watched the concert by myself, and he picked me up around 11 p.m. I still have the glow-stick I bought for $6, and I pocketed the rest of the cash.
Favorite Book? Reading is for nerds…but: Bossypants, Middlesex.
Favorite Movie? Aladdin, The Princess Bride, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, Newsies…Because I enjoy children’s movies.
Favorite TV Show? Judge Judy: see my answer to “guilty pleasures” question for more details. Top Chef, Mad Men, Breaking Bad, Daily Show/Colbert Report, Louis CK, reruns of every show from the 1990s.
Pets? I have one cat named Toota. It means “little blackberry” in Arabic. I’ve taken the liberty of including some photographs of her because she’s adorable. If you’d like to see more, follow me on Instagram!
Foods I Crave? Ben & Jerry’s Oatmeal Cookie Chunk ice cream, turkey sandwiches, avocado smoothies.
People I Admire? Judge Judy, again I refer you to my previous answer to “guilty pleasures.” Tupac Shakur, Tina Fey, my sister, Hannah Hart, all the original members of ‘Nsync, Woody Harrelson cuz I met him once and he was cool, people who enjoy exercising every day.
Dream Role? Hosting the GSN’s popular and long-running game show, Family Feud. Playing opposite Jimmy Fallon in anything and just breaking into laughter the whole time because we both suck at keeping straight faces.
Favorite Song to Sing? “Come Undone” by Duran Duran, or Sinéad O'Connor’s “Nothing Compares 2 U.” I love the part where she sings “I can eat my dinner in a fancy restarahhhhuuhant.”
Good First Date Idea? I’ve got a few episodes of Judge Judy left on my DVR that I’ve been saving for a rainy day/first date.