Comedy Centerfold: Sallie Bowen

Welcome to Comedy Centerfold, where we feature a Dallas Comedy House performer and get to know him or her a little better by using questions that Playboy centerfolds are usually asked.  Sallie BowenIt was 1977. Disco was at its height. You couldn't pop into a club without hearing the tell-tale sound of a bass line thumping in four-four time. If it didn't get you at least tapping your foot, then you may have been dead. And one person was responsible for the groove: Sallie Bowen. She was the darling of the dance club, the fox on the floor, the last to leave, and the first to drop a beat. After disco died down, she turned to college rock, 1980's hair metal, boy bands, grunge—basically any musical genre you can think of, Sallie was the instigator. Today, her focus is on improv, where you can find her performing in the troupes Clarissa Explained Nothing, The Midnight Society, and Pretty People with Problems. Ah, pretty people with problems—definitely sounds like the disco era.

Hometown? I grew up in Belton, Texas, a place full of souped-up pickup trucks, a church around every corner, TWO Taco Bell restaurants, AND (as of recently) a Starbucks.

Guilty Pleasures? I hate to admit this even to myself, but I love watching Lifetime movies. The acting is so bad and someone usually gets murdered so it's always a good time. I also enjoying watching Intervention, Sister Wives, and anything on the Investigation Discovery channel.

Ambitions? I would love to be able to perform and/or write for a living one day. But also, I would like to own a fancy(ish) car, a giant fancy(ish) bathtub, and a big fancy(ish) table where I can write fancy(ish) letters to fancy(ish) people.

Best Concert? I saw The Mars Volta at the Palladium Ballroom about five years ago, and it was such a great performance that I passed out. My boyfriend and his brother had to drag my lifeless body to the back of the crowd while kicking people's feet out of the way. Turns out they were kicking my feet the whole time.

Favorite Book? I enjoy reading anything by David Sedaris, because his books are so truthful and always make me giggle. I also love everything by Kurt Vonnegut.

Favorite Movie? My favorite movie of all time is Teen Witch. It's a very cheesy and wonderful 1980's movie featuring some seriously genius musical numbers such as "Popular Girl" and "I Like Boys." It speaks to me on a deep level.

Favorite TV Show? I will always love the American version of The Office, but currently my favorite TV show is The Simpsons. I was never allowed to watch it as a child, so until a couple of months ago I had only seen a few episodes. But don't worry, I have since gone on a binge, and I now have seen all 26 seasons.

Pets? I have two pets: one is an angel of a Schnoodle dog named Zara, and the other is a bitch of a bitch cat named Lil' Kiki. Zara is sweet, quiet, sensitive, will listen to your problems, and snuggle you until your heart melts. Lil' Kiki is loud, rude, demanding, and will yell at you mercilessly until you feed her Meow Mix or let her outside. I love them both.

Foods I Crave? I crave any food that you would find at a 10-year-old's birthday party: cheese pizza, potato chips, cookies, cake, ice cream, candy, etc. One day, I might acquire the diabetes.

People I Admire? Comedically, I admire all the strong and brilliant women like Carol Burnett, Lucille Ball, Betty White, Gilda Radner, Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Kristen Wiig, Maya Rudolph, Amy Schumer, Sarah Silverman, plus many more. In my real life, I also admire strong and brilliant women—my mother, my grandmothers, and both of my older sisters.

Dream Role? I would love to play an Igor type character—creepy, humpback, bald/balding, an inexplicable limp. I would want to do a lot of heavy breathing or panting and say things like, "Yes, Doctor" and "Eeeeexcellent."

Favorite Song to Sing? I enjoy singing the country classic "Fancy" by Reba McEntire. Who doesn't love a ballad about a young prostitute turned out by her mother in the vocal styling of Reba? No one, that's who.

Good First Date Idea? A great first date would be meeting up somewhere sexy like IHOP or Waffle House. I would speak in a bad French accent and pretend not to be hungry. Then we would park behind the IHOP or Waffle House and listen to a baseball game on the radio full blast. He would try to yell over the sports announcers and ask me questions like, "SO WHERE DID YOU GROW UP?" and I'd stare at him blankly. He would become frustrated and turn down the radio. I would suddenly become really upset and start crying while fumbling for the door handle. Just before I got out of the car I would turn around and say, "You know, if you surrender to the wind, you can ride it." Confused, he would look down in the seat and see a small turd that had fallen out of my dress. We would never see each other again.