Minimalism and Tiny Houses

tiny-house1Once again, I find myself decluttering my life using Marie Kondo's Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up. I did this last year in February and decided to give it a go again after the influx of Christmas gifts. (Yay, consumerism! You are grossly materialistic, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't like gifts!) I grew up thinking that having lots of stuff meant that you were well off and loved. Christmas was the holiday because you received presents like stuffed animals and books with which you could stock your shelves. The worst punishment my mom and dad had was that if I didn't do something, they would take away a material item from me. Now I'm older, married, and more than 800 square feet is too much for me to bare in terms of cleaning and decluttering. As my husband and I drive by the houses on Lover's Lane or Preston Hollow, we are filled with rage to the point where we could go Dark Side. Because those are multi-million dollar homes that are trying to take up the whole block.

"That house is bullsh*t!" we cry from our car. "How many rooms are in there? Do you have 11 kids running around, or do you just have a bazillion guest rooms for your imaginary friends? Would you like to pay off our student debt or donate to some charity foundations because YOUR HOUSE IS A MOUNTAINOUS CASTLE OF BRICK AND BULLSH*T! AND YOU ARE ITS KING AND QUEEN!"

My husband and I have discussed going toward a more minimalist lifestyle so that we can easily maintain a home. Plus, it's technically a cheaper lifestyle, which would allow us to travel more. Hence the tidying up for life-changing magic. Thanks, Marie.

The biggest part of my interest in this? Tiny houses!

I'm pretty open about my love of Tiny House Hunters. First of all, it's ridiculous--the formula of men wanting a compost toilet vs. women vehemently against compost toilets is hilarious, as is the accidental catchphrase, "It's so small! Where are we going to put all our stuff?" Classic. My favorite is the family of six wanting to move into a space that allows 100 square feet per person, and the realtor basically infers that they’re crazy for doing it. Give this show an Emmy for existing.

But most of all, I think I'd just prefer a small space. I hate decorative items that are just there and don’t serve a purpose, and the same goes with rooms. I don't need a dining area--I eat in front of the TV. This is what normal people do now. You watch Westworld or Tiny House Hunters and you eat store-bought sushi. You know what else I don't need? Three additional bedrooms outside of the master bedroom. One as a guest room? Sure. Maybe use one as a workout room-slash-office? That's a stretch, but OK. What about the third room? I'm not adopting a child just so I can fill that room! Also, confession time: I don't want a large kitchen. There, I said it. Everyone's future home wish list has a "large, open kitchen." I want an open kitchen, yes. But a large kitchen to a five-foot-two-inch woman is a nightmare. I cannot climb on top of countertops to reach things for the rest of my life. That's dangerous, I'm going to break a hip and die. (That seems illogical, but knowing my luck, breaking a hip will lead to my immediate death.)

This is a far off, distant dream as my husband and I have to work off student debt before we even consider owning a home outright. But still, it's nice to have these plans in place. Also, look at how cute these Victorian and cottage-y tiny houses are! Sooooooo cuuuuuuuute!

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KC Ryan is an improv graduate turned Sketch Writing Level 2 student. When she’s not working at the day job, she is a writer and podcaster for everything that combines feminism, comedy, theatre, and nerdery. She also performs in the puppet improv troupe Empty Inside.