So Says the Comedian

question marksWelcome to  “So Says the Comedian,” where your burning, non-comedy questions are answered by a comedian from the halls of Dallas Comedy House (DCH). A new comedian will answer questions every week, and you can have yours answered by submitting them to This week’s questions are answered by Ashley Bright, a DCH graduate, peformer, sketch writer, and curator of the popular #Ashtag blog series. Take it away, Ashley. Q: I need some advice. My job pays me a lot of money. Like A LOT a lot. We're talking close to six figures. But I hate it. I can't stand it. And they keep giving me raises. Every day I'm miserable, and anytime anyone asks me how work was, I dodge the question because I hate to think about work when I'm not there. My question is this. Should I: A.) Stay at my job and make a ton of money but hate my life or B.) Quit my job, and find a new job that probably pays less. I will probably become indifferent on my life at this new job because I do not believe a job will ever make me happy. Please help. Sincerely,A Depressed Man

A: Let's start by saying that changing jobs isn't going to make a dent in true biological depression. So, if it runs as deep as it sounds like it might, I suggest that you seek professional help.

If "Depressed Man" was just a fun nickname and you're just down in the dumps about your job, then I, a layperson, will try to provide a bit of help through levity and my own perspective here on this comedic website. You only get one life, Man. Work is work and bills need to be paid. Unfortunately, very few of us pay the bills with a gig that makes us happy. Fill your life with things you enjoy outside of work. Get a stress ball. At the end of the day, only you can decide if a six-figure salary is worth the job-loathing. Either choice you make, you will make it through. You got this.

Q: What's the proper way to handle a blind date?Chucky D., CA

A: Talk to them the same way you would talk to any other date. Ask before you give treats to their seeing-eye-dog, if they have one.

Q: Do you think the impending death of the Ebola Patient 0 is in any way connected to Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively's impending childbirth? Like in a circle of life sort of way?Roob, Dallas, TX

A: Yes.

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(photo credit: opensourceway via photopin cc)