Pretty People With Problems

Plaid to Meet You: Bonnie Criss

Plaid To Meet You is a new way to introduce the community to our performers. I will be choosing performers whose plaid patterns catch my eye. This week, my attention was caught by a wonderful brown-and-white plaid shirt worn by our very own Bonnie Criss. I sat down with her and got the info on that shirt and her feelings about improv. Bonnie CrissWow, great shirt Bonnie. Who are you wearing this evening? Thank you. Wow, so formal with your questions. It’s Runway Seven from JCPenney.

What made you choose that shirt this evening? It was a little chilly. I love plaid, and it’s soft.

So which troupes can we watch you perform with? Oh, are we done with questions about my shirt? I’m in Pretty People With Problems, Impractical Magic, and Pinot Memoir.

When can we watch you perform? Impractical Magic: 10/6 at 9 p.m. Pretty People with Problems: 10/8 at 8 p.m. Pinot Memoir: 10/19 at 9 p.m.

What attracted you to improv, and what keeps you performing? I love comedy. I want to have a career in it. All of my role models started by doing improv. Tyler (Johnston) got me started here. And you can perform in plaid.

Finally, what is one piece of advice you would give to all performers? Don’t hold back. It’s advice for myself, too. Sometimes if I don’t step out enough in a show, I feel bummed afterwards. So always trust your gut.

Collin Brown is a graduate of the Dallas Comedy House (DCH) Improv program. You can catch him around DCH any given night.

DCH Reimagined: TV Shows From The 90s

Heyyo comedy party people! It’s about that time again. Yep, it’s time to reimagine Dallas Comedy House (DCH) troupes as something completely different. We’ve previously re-imagined troupes as iconic professional wrestlers and super pawesome dog breeds, so you’re probably wondering what’s in store this time.   In this edition, we’ll get a little nostalgic and head back to the pre- Netflix/Hulu/DVR days of the 1990s, when TV was teaming with an excess of Day-Glo and flannel and subversive cartoons. It’s the decade that introduced us to the Fresh Prince, Zack Morris, and Stefan Urquelle (a.k.a. Urkel’s smooth talkin’ alter ego that dresses a little douchier and isn’t  quite as obsessed with cheese). So slip on a pair of bike shorts and Air Max runners as we jog down memory lane to combine the best of DCH improv and 90s TV.

Hold on to your butts, we’re doin’ this thing!

areyouafraidofthedarkThe Midnight Society = Are You Afraid of the Dark?

Spinning hilarious campfire urban legends from a single audience suggestion, The Midnight Society is totally Are You Afraid of the Dark?...or at the very least I'm pretty sure that's where their troupe name is derived from. Exploring a gang of badass bandana-clad teens (you know a bandana means butt-kicking-ain’t-afraid-of-nothing business) swapping scary stories, Are You Afraid of the Dark? fueled the nightmares of countless 1990s kids. The Midnight Society’s brand of improv is equally thrilling and spine-chilling. Full of kooky characters and crazy plot twists, probably a demon summoning or a séance or two, and plenty of comedic shenanigans along the way, The Midnight Society brings both the fun and the spooky to the DCH stage. It’s improv that would make Gary (Are You Afraid of the Dark?’s fearless storytelling leader) and baby Ryan Gosling (who once made an appearance on the show's “The Tale of Station 109.1”) both super proud and pee their pants due both to lots of lolz and lots of scares.

mysocalledlifePretty People With Problems = My So-Called Life

If there's a '90s show that spoke most to your brooding and awkward teenage soul, it was probably My So-Called Life, which featured some of the most memorable, relatable, and Jared Leto-filled teen angst TV moments. And, if there’s a DCH troupe that also lets you relive those same melodramatic high school feels, it’d undoubtedly be Pretty People with Problems. Pretty People take all the angst and the teen stereotypes and add in a dash of their improv magic to create wonderfully vibrant and hilarious teen dramas. Pretty People will make you laugh your butt off and then want to go home and write some pissed off poetry about how nobody gets you, because "sometimes it feels like we're all living in some kind of prison" and "the whole conversation thing is like totally overrated." You do you Pretty People.

quantumleapEncyclopedia Moronica = Quantum Leap

Encyclopedia Moronica is obviously DCH's Quantum Leap. If you weren't a huge sci-fi nerd during the early '90s, allow me to briefly explain the show's premise. Scott Bakula, a.k.a. Dr. Sam Beckett, is trapped in a time-travel conundrum, travelling across history by leaping into the bodies of historical figures and people of the past, creating zany and altered realities. Quantum Leap explored everything from JFK's assassination to the Watergate scandal to Michael Jackson learning some sick dance moves, brah (that's right, there is a show in which Scott Bakula teaches a young MJ how to moonwalk). Like Quantum Leap, Encyclopedia Moronica isn't afraid to mix the educational and historical factoids with gamey bits and playful scenes. A little drama, a little history, and whole lot of comedy, Encyclopedia Moronica is learning done fun!

peteandpeteRelease the Hounds = The Adventures of Pete and Pete

The Adventures of Pete and Pete was one of the dopest kid shows of the 1990s, following the adventures of Big Pete and Little Pete. Likewise, Release the Hounds is one of the dopest two-man troupes at DCH. If you want a dope improv show with a bunch of wacky characters, endearingly strange worlds, and a whole lot of heart to it, then Release the Hounds is a troupe you need to check out stat! Like The Adventures of Pete and Pete, the gentlemen of Release the Hounds celebrate goofy worldviews, supportive play, and brotherly love. Intelligent and surreal, Pete and Pete were the real MVPs of early Nickelodeon programming. Release the Hounds keeps on bringing the spirit of the two Petes to DCH, and for that the fictional people of Wellsville and all of us real life two-man comedy lovers thank them. As Little Pete would say, don't be a jerkweed and go watch Release the Hounds.

liquidtvBig Stupid Fun = Liquid Television

Liquid Television may have been one of the greatest things to come out of MTV during the 1990s or possibly ever (I suppose that's up for debate). The cult series showcased original animated cartoons, the intermittent music video, and lots and lots of other miscellaneous, stupid weird stuff. Heck, the animated music video for They Might Be Giant's "Istanbul" premiered on Liquid Television, and that's like the most weirdly fun song about Istanbul ever! Right?! Big Stupid Fun, a group of former Ewingites who love a good call back and lots of side support, is equal parts stupid cartoon-like fun and witty sensibility. When this crew comes to play, they play hard, with lots of sass and bold characters. And, just as Beavis and Butt-Head, two of America's most nacho and bunghole loving individuals, first appeared on Liquid Television, the two have also been known to make an appearance in a Big Stupid Fun performance. Ain't no show like a Big Stupid Fun show, cause with a Big Stupid Fun show there may or not be references to Cornholio.

Feel free to post your suggestions for other DCH troupe reimagining or just say hi to me in the comments below! Peace out, girl scouts!

Lauren Levine is currently a Level 5 improv and Sketch 2 student at DCH. When she is not trying to come up with witty things for this blog, she is a freelance writer and editor, an amateur photographer, a Zumba-enthusiast, a dog lover, and an 80s movie nerd. In addition, she enjoys all things Muppet-related, the smell after a rainstorm, and people with soft hands.

Comedy Centerfold: Brian Harrington

Welcome to Comedy Centerfold, where we feature a Dallas Comedy House performer and get to know him or her a little better by using questions that Playboy centerfolds are usually asked. Brian HarringtonWe were spelunking in Bluespring Caverns in Bedford, Indiana, when my flashlight died. Brian Harrington was dangling below to my left, about to lower himself into the cave when he saw me swinging in the darkness. He ascended to my level and gave me his flashlight because Brian Harrington is that kind of guy. Also, he doesn't need a flashlight in the darkness like a normal human being because he echolocates like a bat. You know what else echolocates? Dolphins. Brian Harrington is the dolphin in the Dallas Comedy House ocean, ready to give you a ride toward the beach or defend you from sharks. You know where else sharks reside? Caves. True. Look it up.

Hometown? Denison, TX. It’s the last town on 75 before Oklahoma, the birthplace of President Eisenhower (who quickly moved to Kansas at the age of two, but we still name everything after him), and also some guy from Magnum P.I.

Guilty Pleasures? Big Brother. This will not go under my favorite TV show because I know it’s not good, but it’s so good. I have watched every season since it premiered (yeah, I was in 6th grade. I was weird), and I have no intention of stopping.

Also, beer.

Ambitions? I recently conquered one of my ambitions, which was to enjoy what I do for work. What’s next? I’d love to write something people read that isn’t a questionnaire or a bar menu.

Best Concert? Honestly, I’ve only been to a few concerts. Don’t hang me, but I’m not actually a big fan of concerts, especially concerts of acts I don’t really know. However, my first concert was in high school, and it was the Vans Warped Tour at Smirnoff Music Centre (now Gexa). That was a lot of fun because everyone still really liked watered down punk music in 2003, which is what I still listen to.

Favorite Book? I don’t read as much as I should. I love Amy Poehler’s Yes, Please. Favorite book since high school, though, is the quintessential “nobody gets me” book, The Perks of Being a Wallflower.

Favorite Movie? Jesus, this is a loaded baked potato of a question. I’ll have to give two: Halloween and Empire Records.

Halloween was such a simple concept that just became too much with the sequels (some of which I still love) and remakes. It’s hard to remember that in the original, Michael wasn’t Laurie’s brother, there was no backstory or mythos, he was just a lifeforce. Then Empire Strikes Back came out and everyone had to be related.

Empire Records takes place over the course of one day in a record store. It’s the most 1990s movie that captures the decade without over-exaggerating it. If you haven’t seen it, it will make you feel good. If you haven’t seen it, you can borrow mine.

Favorite TV Show? For anyone who knows me, no surprise here. Buffy the Vampire Slayer is the smartest show with the stupidest name. If you’ve ever thought, “I should watch that show,” you should, but you have to commit that you will watch through the end of season two. They made season one with 20 bucks and a synthesizer. Season two changed everything, and there are arguments to be made that it changed the entire landscape of scripted television. I could write a book (see above, re: ambition) about it, so it’s best I stop here.

Also, Big Brother.

Pets? Many of you have already met Xander. He’s a German Shepherd mix and topped off at 60 pounds. He is now three-and-a-half years old and is the best soul I’ve ever encountered. When you leave the country for a week and have several unsolicited offers from people to dog-sit, you’ve got a good one.

Foods I Crave? I’m always lookin’ for somethin’ more savory. If I was only allowed one meal for the rest of my life, it would be taco salad.

People I Admire? For anyone who knows me, no surprise here. Joss Whedon writes what he wants and how he wants, which has led to so many fantastic pieces of work. He writes characters as equals. Almost every press junket he does will include a journalist asking “Why do you write strong female characters?” to which he responds, “Because you’re still asking me that question.”

Dream Role? I used to want to be an actor, but I didn’t take as much of a liking to it in high school as I thought I would, so my dream role wouldn’t necessarily be in front of camera or on stage. If any producer, however, wanted to be part of my “I-was-just-walking-down-the-street-and-they-pulled-up-and-asked-if-I-wanted-to-be-in-this-little-show-and-the-rest-is-history” story, I would consider it. (Producers, I usually walk around the Bishop Arts area). I think my dream role would be behind the scenes writing for a comedy with a small and devoted fan base. I would also like to do an action movie, any action movie, where they pay you to train and get hot and know karate.

Favorite Song to Sing? Whitney Houston, “I Will Always Love You.” Some day, I will hit that note without helium. Most likely, no one will be around. But I’ll know it happened.

Good First Date Idea? I’m always a proponent of the Alamo Drafthouse, but if dinner-and-a-movie is a little passé for you, I would personally love something physical like an obstacle course. Do those exist? First date obstacle courses? Someone please make this. (Please include a zipline.)

You can see Brian perform in the following troupes and shows:

Tabooze  Friday, June 3, at 10 p.m. Saturday, June 25, at 10 p.m.

Pretty People With Problems  Thursday, June 9, at 8 p.m.

The Roast of George RR Martin Saturday, June 18, at 11 p.m.

Sketch Revue Shows in July, TBD

Troupe Talk: Pretty People With Problems

Pretty People With Problems Dear Dallas Comedy House (DCH) friends, family, and of course, Mr. Vernon,

Pretty People With Problems accepts the fact that they’ve had to sacrifice a whole lot of time and energy, time originally guided by the wonderful Nikki Gasparo and now guided by the equally wonderful Ashley Bright, to flush out and hone a wild idea for an improvised teen movie. They’ve all practiced really hard together, and it’s crazy inspiring to see how far they’ve come. So, “Who exactly are they?” you ask. Well, you may see them as just a posse of unruly, free-spirited improv kiddos, but they’re definitely more than that. They’re a troupe of incredibly talented players who genuinely love to “yes and...” and support each other on and off the stage. With shows chock full of silly scenarios, zany casts of characters, and plenty of talk about Jerrell’s butthole, Pretty People With Problems is helping audiences relive their glorious high school moments: the good, the bad, and the embarrassing. With a lot of love and a whole lot of weird, they bring to life those precious moments rife with acne, angst, and possibly a rockin’ John Hughes soundtrack. In the simplest terms, Pretty People With Problems is the stellar combination of a Cody... a Jerrell and a Sallie...a Tyler and a Brian...a Bonnie...and a Natalie (a.k.a. Buffy in a young Meryl Streep disguise).

Does that answer your question?

Sincerely yours,

The Breakfast/Improv Club (it’s a dual purpose organization)

To start us off, let’s hear the super teen-angsty, melodramatic origin story of how Pretty People With Problems came to be.  

Cody: I was smoking pot behind a dumpster and writing poetry with my tears when Natalie told me Brian had told her that Tyler told him that Bonnie told her that Sallie said that Jerrell said that Nikki Gasparo said I had shit my pants in the cafeteria and that Ms. Bright slipped in it and gave me detention. I looked Natalie in the eyes and threw my letterman jacket on the ground and said, “I need redemption.” Then I messaged everyone on AIM and asked if they wanted to do a teen drama. No one wanted to, but they were all into improv, so I skated all the way to Keller, Texas, where Nikki lived, and we had our first practice.

Sallie: It was a dark, stormy night in the mid-1990s. Brian was working in his father’s grocery store, closing up because he was that kid with adult problems. Tyler was smoking a cigarette outside, just not giving a f***. Bonnie and Natalie cruised up in their BMW convertible with a bottle of vodka and techno music blasting on the radio. Cody was hiding behind the building filming everyone for one of his “art films.” Jerrell flew in on a cloud, and no one was certain whether he was human or God. Sallie was mopping up the parking lot and watching porn on her phone. Suddenly, a bolt of lightning struck and permanently banded these seven individuals together. Pretty People With Problems was formed.

Jerrell: I wasn't there for the very, very beginning, but from what I understand is that I was brought in as a season one guest star to shake up the personal relationships of the main cast but then I stuck around. It pays to hang around the craft services table a.k.a. chill out at Brian and Tyler's apartment while they're practicing because you're too hungover to go home.

Natalie: Brian and I have always been the dearest of friends, enabling each other to watch cable, instead of studying or binging on junk food and classic romance films (with the sound muted and our own dialogue, of course). And, don't forget the platonic sleepovers and make-out practice sessions. BEST BUDDIES. Then, of course, we always yearned for the attention of our high school's "it" duo, Cody and Jerrell, but flawlessly covered up our desperation with plenty of sarcasm and wit. Anytime Brian or I needed some sage advice, we consulted the original club sponsor/home-ec teacher, Ms. Bowen. No matter the situation, Ms. Bowen could always make me feel better, see the error of my ways, or realize which pill to take. It’s weird, though, I also always seemed to feel like her wisdom had an underlying message about my relationship, which was totally platonic, with Brian. Anyway, the coolest and most badass rebel, Tyler, looked in every room and hallway with a sexual tension that excited Brian and me, but we figured he'd eventually just fall for Ms. Bowen, and they would have some kind of sordid tryst that resulted in jail time and/or a pregnancy. Bonnie came into the picture when she moved here from Idabel, Oklahoma. She was the sweetest, little small-town girl with perfect grades. Brian and I pooled our spare change and sour patch kids together to bet on when she'd finally indulge in her dark side. And that's basically it, but, hey, it's only junior year, right?

Bonnie: Ugh. Total drab of a story. I don't know if you know Nikki Gasparo, but she basically rules the school. She's like the Queen B. And by “B,” I mean BITCH! No, she's amazing! She came up with the idea for an improvised teen drama and we all orgasmed in unison and started the troupe.

For people who may not be familiar with you guys, what can someone expect to see at one of your shows? What's your format or style?

Cody: We ask the audience for a problem they had in high school, then we put on a narrative, ”dramatic” show, in which we try to bring that problem to life. They can expect to see horse girls, dumb jocks, smart jocks, pill-addicted bitches, smelly skater boys, bug-boy, Poot the kleptomaniac, pooping in the cafeteria, teachers at prom, a cool opening credits video, and Jerrell’s butthole.

Sallie: We do an improvised teen drama in a narrative format. You can expect to see all your favorites: the slutty cheerleader, the mysterious bad boy, the pompous jock, the insecure school guidance counselor, the stoner, the horse girl, the bug boy, etc.  

Jerrell: It's VERY dramatic. Like the TNT of the theater. We love drama. But, essentially, we come out to a staple teen drama song looking very good and grab an audience suggestion of a high school issue and we play off of that. And somewhere along the way feelings are confessed and there's a lot of yelling.

Natalie: We begin with an air of drama and an audience member's personal high school obstacle. From there, we present a no-frills, totally unfunny and seriously serious adaptation of One Tree Hill/The O.C./Beverly Hills 90210/Melrose Place/Dawson's Creek/Gossip Girl/My So-Called Life/Degrassi High/Degrassi: The Next Generation.

Bonnie: Basically you will see a lot of sighing and Sallie playing human/animal characters. We also love to open and close lockers and backpacks, to really give our show that high school feeling.

If you could go back in time and give your teenage, high school self some advice, what would it be?

Cody: DUMP HER! And definitely don’t F***ING BRING HER TO DALLAS WITH YOU AND MOVE IN WITH HER YOU DIPSHIT! RUN AWAY! RUN! Also, when you get to Dallas don’t wait three years to go to Dallas Comedy House. Or do, because you’ll like the people you have class with. Whatever. Hey, don’t Bogart the joint, man.


Jerrell: Chill out. No matter how much that straight dude flirts with you, he's just doing it for the attention. And wash your face at night, you deserve clear skin.

Natalie: STOP GIVING ANY DAMN F***S! And am I kind of crushing on Brian, or do we just spend too much time together AS FRIENDS??

Bonnie: Keep eating lunch in the library. It's so much more peaceful in the library than in the lunchroom. Plus you're never going to get to see a food fight, so what's the point.

Teen movies are often all about those badass girl cliques. If life were a teen movie, what fictional #girlsquad would each of your troupe mates be part of and why? (Yes, Natalie, you can provide what teen drama stereotype/trope they’d be. Whatever makes you happy, boo.)

Cody: I know who’s in this troupe and how good they are at this sort of thing. My knowledge of pop-culture is painfully inadequate, so I’m going to let the others take this one.

Sallie: Natalie would be in Buffy the Vampire Slayer’s clique or she would be Buffy herself. She is so obsessed with that show that I’m starting to think she is Buffy.

Bonnie: Natalie would be a part of... Well she just would be Buffy the Vampire Slayer. So would Brian. They are both Buffy because they are so badass and they have great hair.

Sallie: Brian would be part of the Plastics in Mean Girls because he is a badass, boss bitch that runs things. (Seriously, he is the bar manager at DCH. Check out the new menu!)

Natalie: Brian would be the field hockey captain and the sweet, loveable class president who also isn't afraid to let lose because he's a great leader and hella admirable. Also fit.

Sallie: I think Cody would be a part of the Heathers because he might murder someone.

Bonnie: Cody is definitely Regina from the Plastics because he is such a conniving, secret-starting, boyfriend-stealing, witch!

Natalie: Cody would be the section leader in the school choir, just to hear his own voice more, and he would also be the newest member of the pottery club because he wanted to meet an artsy girl that doesn't have dreadlocks but also doesn't judge anyone for having them.

Sallie: Jerrell would be a Spice Girl in Spice World because he really is a real-life pop star.

Bonnie: Jerrell would be Cher from Clueless because he has the best wardrobe and he is very persuasive. And he has great cheekbones.

Natalie: Jerrell would be the drill team captain who lights up a fat doobie under the bleachers before every halftime show but still has the best high kick you'll ever see. He is loveable as f*** but down-to-earth.

Bonnie: Sallie would be Dionne from the clique in Clueless because she pulls off a nose ring so well and she don't take shit from no gross bitch with a fake weave.

Sallie: Sallie would be one of the detentioners in The Breakfast Club. Most likely the quiet girl with dandruff because sometimes she really does get dandruff and she’s kind of creepy.

Natalie: Sallie would be the school principal on the fast track to being superintendent, but she gets it on with the weird goth kids because she's sexy as hell and could rock leather.

Sallie: Bonnie would be part of the T-Birds from Grease, because I could see her cruising in a sick ride, looking for chicks and greasing back her hair with a comb she keeps in her back pocket.

Natalie: Bonnie would be the bad virgin/clean teen that wants to remain pure but likes getting carried away with dirty talk and weenie play, because she's sweet and hot. Tyler would the president of the AV club, or the school DJ, or the bitchiest klepto you'll ever meet, because he's the bitchiest klepto you'll ever meet. He's also banging Sallie/Ms. Bowen.

Sallie: Tyler would be part of the Toro’s in Bring It On because he is very cheerful, supportive, and probably has a sick round-off back handspring.

Bonnie: Tyler would be Gretchen from the Plastics because he's always starting incredibly ridiculous rumors. These are just two he started at my high school. "Demi Lovato is giving the graduation speech," and "We're getting a Chick-fil-A in the cafeteria!"

Speaking of Plastics and Mean Girls, if you ever found a Burn Book with your picture in it, what do you think would be written about you?

Cody: Probably something like, “He has a big head, both metaphorically AND literally.”

Sallie: There would probably be a very frizzy-haired picture of me and under it would say, “Does she even go here?”

Jerrell: My burn would be something like, "Yikes...kinda desperate." But my picture would look great.

Natalie: “Eats a lot of cheese,, a LOT!”

Bonnie: “Bonnie eats her corn like she's trying to get it off.”

What do you enjoy most about getting to play with this particular group of people?

Cody: When we first started practicing, it was hard to be good, because we were all just being so stupid and cracking ourselves up. Ashley had to develop punishments for breaking. I think the silliness and making each other laugh is what I love most. Also, I have to give credit to the effort Ashley has put into this project. It’s nothing short of inspiring. The passion from everyone has been outstanding.

Sallie: Everyone in this group is an incredible performer and improviser. I am always looking forward to either practice or shows with them because we have so much fun with each other. Each one is a genuinely hilarious person, and we’re always cracking each other up.

Jerrell: These are some of the weirdest people I've ever played with. There's never any judgment about a move being made or a joke or whatever. Like, this entire troupe is so weird, and it's the best. I don't know; it's super freeing knowing that I can do whatever dumb, weird thing I want to and they “yes and” it.

Natalie: I love and adore this group so incredibly much, because while we're all friends and mesh really well, we also each have unique and distinct qualities/styles/personalities. We make each other laugh a lot, and I think that's a great place to start when your goal is to make other people laugh, too.

Bonnie: We all have so much fun together and we know and love teen dramas. Plus, I've seen all these people on the toilet and once you've seen that, a bond forms that's unexplainable and so amazing.

What rule of improv do you try to apply to your everyday life and why?

Cody: Oh wow, thank you for the soapbox.  I’m going to try to only put one foot on it. I guess I have to choose between “say yes” and “listen to the last thing said.” I think it would be the latter because I have a tendency to respond to things with “I” or “me” statements just to relate, and I want to work on really listening to and engaging with the other person in a conversation.

Sallie: “YES AND,” baby. I always try to say yes to new opportunities and experiences, and this has significantly broadened my horizons. Also, listening is so important, and since taking improv classes, I believe I am a better listener in my regular life.

Jerrell: Saying yes. That's so cliché, but I mean saying yes to everything, mostly to myself. I used to spend a lot of time being concerned about how other people felt about me and what I was doing, instead of how I was feeling and whatever. So, more specifically, saying yes to my feelings and what I want and need to do from moment to moment.

Natalie: Improv is a phenomenon to me because every concept/pillar can simply translate into or be applied to life. So, I can't choose a “single” concept that I apply, but in general, I see improv, in its purest sense, as an enchanting, mind-boggling and frustrating entity, which can also be said of life. Also, the support and respect I’ve seen and experienced in the DCH community, especially in regards to gender equality, is a security and love I know I am extremely lucky to have.

Bonnie: I always say yes. It just makes life so much more fun.

As with anything in life, movie quotes are always applicable. So let’s end this Q&A by coming up with a Pretty People tagline, using only teen movie quotes.

Cody: “Whatever I feel like I wanna do, gosh!” – Napoleon Dynamite; Alternate: “Yes… yes… yes…” – Napoleon Dynamite

Sallie: “Well you can’t kill me ‘cause I’m already dead. And I talked to God, and she says, ‘Yo wassup?’ and she wants you to lose the gun.” – Deb in Empire Records

Jerrell: "Do yo thang, Isis." – Bring It On

Natalie: "Shoulda used the window!" – Walter Stratford in 10 Things I Hate About You; Alternate: "It don't matter if you win by an inch or a mile. Winning's winning." – Dominic Toretto in The Fast And The Furious

Bonnie: "Why should I listen to you? You're a virgin who can't drive." – Tai from Clueless

Pretty People With Problems performs at DCH on June 1 and June 9.

Lauren Levine is currently a Level 5 improv and Sketch 2 student at DCH. When she is not trying to come up with witty things for this blog, she is a freelance writer and editor, an amateur photographer, a Zumba-enthusiast, a dog lover, and an 80s movie nerd. In addition, she enjoys all things Muppet-related, the smell after a rainstorm, and people with soft hands.