parties

Three DO's and DO NOT's for Social Anxiety at Parties

Gemma CorrellAh, ‘tis the end of the holiday season, and I am %^$-ing exhausted. No offense to Presidentially pardoned turkeys, Santa, and the New Year’s Sparkle Ball up in New York, but life is non-stop starting in mid-November. Tons of parties, most of them holiday-themed or family-related, will take up a lot of time. And even though I suffer from some general social anxiety, I like meeting with my friends at the expense of wearing a silly hat in public. I’ll worry about people judging me while wearing said silly hat, but hey, look, free food!

Of course, parties are a year-round thing and I feel like I’ve made growth over my years of attending family and business functions where I’ve had to find a little me-time. I know my actions could be misconstrued as “anti-social” or “rude.” However, these are steps I take to relieve the feeling of overwhelmedness. After all, I could be doing a lot worse…

In fact, I’ve made a list of three basic DO’s and DO NOT’s for those moments when social anxiety gets the best of you at parties.

DO... Politely excuse yourself from a conversation by saying you “need some air.”

This is everyone’s go-to escape route, and it’s tried and true for a reason. Sometimes a party can get too crowded or the music can be too loud or whatever reason that it just becomes too much. And “getting air” can mean going outside or simply going into another room that is vacant or not as occupied.

DO NOT... Scream, “I DON’T WANT TO TALK TO YOU ANYMORE,” and then barrel down anyone in your way.

I know this is what you want to do, but unless you are a talking, sentient version of the boulder from Raiders of the Lost Ark, it’s best not to do this. You will most likely injure yourself and other people that may be holding glassware and plasticware. If you must do one of these things, do the screaming part, but only in extreme cases that involve Terry Gilliam-level weirdness.

DO... Find a quiet corner of the party and hang out with a the house pet.

If you’re at a house party that is not the crazy, claustrophobic college messes you used to go to, let me introduce you to your new friends: the empty corner and the domestic animal inhabiting it. It may be a dog, it may be a cat, and if you’re lucky, it could be something exotic like a capybara. But this precious creature will sit quietly and will not judge you for being too overworked at a party. In their minds, they’re probably saying, “Yes, human, you look exhausted. Come sit with me. Feel free to give me scratches under my ears and sip your beverage. You are safe here.” At parties where animals are not allowed, a close friend or a favorite co-worker is an acceptable substitute. However, know that the humans will verbally respond when you ask, “Who’s a pretty kitty? Who’s a kitty! Kitty, kitty!”

DO NOT... Grab said pet and escape in your car.

This is called “kidnapping.” If you need a point of reference of what this might look like to onlookers, think of Bill Murray in Groundhog Day.

DO… Offer to run errands if you can’t find a space for yourself.

Guess what people love? Snacks! Guess where more snacks are if the party is running out? Outside the party! Take it upon yourself to go on a snack run for the shindig. You will have some time to yourself at a nice, spacious grocery store while being the hero of the party. What I often do is ask someone--typically my husband--to be my “errand sender.” He or she will make the suggestion that maybe we need more snacks. I’ll suggest that I’ll go, and good old errand sender follows up with the question that only one person will dare ask: “Do you want me to go with you?” The errand sender is setting up a ruse so that you can say “no” and be on your way to the store while he or she mans the front and explains you went to get snacks all by yourself.

DO NOT... Lock yourself in the bathroom with a bottle of wine and a napkin of appetizers.

I actually kind of did this once. I was a teenager, so it was minus the bottle of wine and it was at a holiday church function. It’s a real weird experience, guys. As your blogger friend… please don’t do this.

KC Ryan is currently a Level 4 student at DCH. An office worker by day, she spends her nights writing, improvising, recording podcasts, and having existential crises. She’s a co-host of Parsec Award-nominated podcast Anomaly Supplemental about general sci-fi and fantasy topics. Her greatest achievement so far is convincing her husband to watch Project Runway.

(Image: Gemma Correll)

Prom is for Adults, Too...

By Mike Corbett In case you haven’t heard, it’s prom season, and this year those high school brats aren’t the only ones celebrating. This Saturday, May 31st, at 10:30pm, The Dallas Comedy House is throwing a prom of its own! Things will kick off with a special show featuring lovely ladies of LYLAS, and their dates for the evening, the dashing men of LYLAB. After that, everyone will dance the night away, create lifelong memories and make questionable decisions, just like a real prom!   Buy your tickets now, they’re going fast!

In honor of this momentous occasion, I’ve decided to take a look at some of the classic prom songs you’ll no doubt here when you hit the floor with your date for one of those special slow dances.

Heaven by Bryan Adams Our first number comes from Canada’s greatest export, Bryan Adams. This ballad was a smash hit back in 1985, when the prom dresses had more ruffles than a potato chip factory, Aquanet was just starting to burn a hole in the ozone layer, and people actually cared about Bryan Adams. The song was inspired by Journey’s “Faithfully” which Adams heard when touring with the band in the early 80’s. The video features Adams singing to stacks of televisions in an empty room. I imagine these days he does the same thing, but has each TV showing a crowd of screaming fans, his personal version of heaven.

Here’s to the Night by Eve 6

Once dismissed as one hit wonders, Eve 6 came roaring back in 2001 with Here’s to the Night, cementing their status as a two hit wonder. Here’s to the Night became an anthem for graduating classes in high schools and colleges that summer, and remained a popular prom song for several years afterwards. The video features a house party, all filmed via a hand held camera, because teens loved that kind of shit back then. It’s why this video looks like a mellow version of Can’t Hardly Wait or American Pie.

Good Riddance (Time of Your Life) by Green Day

Truly one of the most beautiful and poignant songs ever written.

(DISCLAIMER: The author of this article is no longer capable of being objective towards Green Day having been a huge fan for 20 years. It’s pretty bad, and may have at one point caused him to get an awful tattoo in honor of the band, which later had to be covered up. It’s also entirely possible that this was the only song he would dance to at his prom, a decision his date was not pleased with. Surprisingly, he is still without a date to DCH’s prom. But man, what a great song.)

 

More Than Words by Extreme

Before his incredibly successful run as the lead singer of Van Halen, Gary Cherone was the lead singer of Extreme, and produced one of the least extreme songs ever written. More Than Words was a huge hit in 1991, despite being about as exciting as elevator music. The video matches that intensity quite well. It’s black and white and features Cherone, looking like someone who produces elevator music, seemingly serenading his guitar player. All the while a few other people sit around, clearly confused about whether or not they should leave and give the pair some privacy.

 

All My Life by KC and JoJo

In 1997, KC and JoJo left the group Jodeci, put out this chart topping hit and promptly disappeared from popular culture. But what a gift they left us. This song was still being played at my prom in 2004, and I wouldn’t be surprised to find out it carried on after that. There’s not much to note in the video, just a standard performance intercut with some scenes of love and affection. It is worth noting that KC and JoJo are dressed like the much more fly cousins of Morpheus from The Matrix. We can all only hope to one day achieve a scarf game that strong.

I hope this look back has gotten you excited for the 2014 Dallas Comedy House Prom. This Saturday night, come on down, have some laughs, and make some memories, all without the fear of having to have an awkward conversation with a chaperone.

Mike Corbett is a Level 2 Sketch Writing Student at the DCH training center and an intern for the DCH blog. You can read more of his comedy stylings HERE. 

What We're Loving: Scene-Breaking Rap, Sweating Out Our Perms, The Greatest Movie Poster Ever

028_heart-free-vector-lEach Friday, DCH performers, teachers, and students offer their recommendations for what to watch, read, see, hear, or experience. This week David Allison gives you a chance to make amends, Julia Cotton annoys her beautician, and Ryan Callahan loses a battle, but wins a war. 

I love alliteration!  In celebration of that fact, I’m creating “Movie Soundtrack March” to showcase great comedy soundtracks that go underappreciated.  The only rule for my weekly pick is that the soundtrack has to mostly be comprised of original music.  

Sometimes, something so important happens it causes you to reevaluate things.  The sheer magnitude of the event forces you to view life through a different lens.  Occasionally, it even demands that you slightly modify the random theme for your once a week blog post.  I know that I’m supposed to focus on movie soundtracks this month, but there was a musical moment in one of television’s best comedies that cannot be ignored.  I tried to stay on track, but there’s no stopping the power of the Dean’s rap on the latest episode of Community.

I know you know what I’m talking about.  If you don’t, then I hate you and the only way you can win back my affection is by putting this 1:11 clip on repeat for the next 72 hours.  I can’t quite pin down exactly why the rap is so funny.  Perhaps because it’s so well written.  Maybe it’s because the man portraying Dean Pelton, Jim Rash, is a proven talent and an Oscar winner.  Who knows, it might be due to the fact that a tiny white man is rapping hard while dressed as a candy bar.  No one will ever know, but it’s impossible to ignore that this clip is the best thing on tv ever.  Still don’t believe me?  Well check out exhibit D, a .gif of Gillian Jacobs, A PROFESSIONAL ACTRESS, barely keeping it together.  It's that funny. - David Allison 

14517_10152631209974056_1575422524_nAin’t no party like a DCH party cuz a DCH party don’t stop!

As much as I love watching and performing in shows, I have the most fun at DCH when performances are done.  There’s bountiful drinking, dancing and singing with abandon, and blatant, unapologetic sweating.  That is a sign of a good time.

I didn’t party much in high school.  I spent my time studying because I understood the importance of education. No. I didn’t get invited to many parties and studying just became a way to pass the time.  That is also a lie.  I didn’t study as much as I figured out different ways to enjoy cheese (best way: just get a plate of shredded Colby Jack & Cheddar and melt that bad boy in the microwave.  Don’t even need the tortilla chips.)

 College parties were still mostly a drag.  I usually went with girls who just wanted to be seen.  They’d spend tons of money on outfits and grooming.  We were always ridiculously late because no one really knew what time “fashionable” really was.  And when we got there, no one wanted to move, because, ‘Do you know how much it took to put this look together?’ - ‘No, but do you know how much cheese I gave up to put this outfit on?’ So, there we were, a group of girls prepared to star in Jay Zs Big Pimpin’ video, just posted in a corner.

 After college… well, I had kids, so parties were few and far between.  Still, I dreamed of a time when I could be amongst people who just wanted to have fun with me.  Like real fun.  Like, I-got-my-hair-did-but-I-fully-intend-on-sweating-out-this-perm-before-the-night-is-over, fun.  That time has come a many a night at DCH.

With the Dallas Comedy Festival this week, it is a party everyday.  I had the pleasure of performing with Dairy Based on Thursday night. Still, I know the best night will be the last day of the festival, when all of the performances are done, the music is blaring and my beautician is annoyed at all of the Facebook pics showing that her work has been destroyed. - Julia Cotton 

IMG-20140321-00279As some of you may know, I moved into a new apartment a few weeks ago. Thanks to the move, I now have my own study, full of books on shelves and books in boxes and books on the floor and WWE action figures on top of bookshelves. Oh, there's also a desk, you know, in case I need to write something. This past week I finally got around to decorating. You see, there had been an ongoing debate between me and my girlfriend over the placement of my Japanese Tango & Cash poster.

Just so we’re clear, the poster is not an advertisement for some sort of Japanese knock-off of Tango & Cash starring Sonny Chiba and Takeshi Kitano, (although that movie would be awesome,) it’s the real thing, a poster for the 1989 action movie Tango & Cash IN JAPANESE. The whole poster is in Japanese, except for the word “Tango” the word “Cash” and the phrase “Let’s Do It!” which is apparently a catchphrase from the movie. I had no idea.

My girlfriend failed to appreciate the greatness of this poster and the greatness of Tango & Cash in general. You see Sylvester Stallone and Kurt Russell play two LA super cops who are framed by crime lord Jack Palance and sent to prison. One super cop is enough for me to drop everything, push old ladies out of the way, and run to the closest theater. Tango & Cash has TWO super cops. And one of them iss Kurt Russell of Big Trouble in Little China fame. And the other is Rambo Balboa. When they write the definitive history of the late 20th century, Tango & Cash will play a prominent role.

My girlfriend was moved by exactly none of my arguments. So instead of the Tango & Cash poster having place of honor in our living room, it now hangs in my study. Where it belongs. Let's do it! - Ryan Callahan