Tommy’s Taco Thursday: Maybe People Will Run for the Border Before 2 A.M.

Taco BellIn the future, Taco Bell raises the stakes. You’ll be able to walk into Taco Bell and make more poor choices than ever before. (In fact – you’ll have to walk in there, but more on that in a bit.) Starting in Chicago and L.A., Taco Bell is bringing booze behind the counter. Have a Tecate with your Taco Salad. Have a Corona with your Cantina Bowl. Have a Bud Light with your Doritos Locos Taco sin lettuce and tomatoes. I’m all for adding booze to the menu – but I worry about the changes this ideology is going to bring to my yum-yum beacon on the border.

There’s talk of more “Cantina” style restaurants. There’s talk of conforming to Urban Diner standards of ambiance and environment. (Meaning “we gonna build Chipotle’s that serve Taco Bell.”) The art work is going to be in black and white. It’s going to be matted and framed! The hot sauce packets are going to have extra snooty attitudes. These new “cantinas” are not going to have drive-thrus…What’s worse, not only are they planning to build 2,200 of these stores, they will also be remodeling 600 a year.

If you couple this with the news that they are going to remove artificial ingredients from the menu by the end of the year, we may not recognize our beloved Bell in a couple of years. But let me offer hope. I don’t think they can ruin Taco Bell. Taco Bell fans have persevered through countless changes over the years: the beans, the meat, the cheese, packaging, décor, and the sorely missed black olives.

I do know this, if the day comes that I can order a Baja Blast spiked with rum, I’ll probably go work for Yum! Brands Inc.

#tacos #booze #tacobell #bajablasted #tommystacothursdays

Tommy Lee Brown teaches and performs at Dallas Comedy House. He is your man on the street, determined to eat. He is the belly of the city. No taco is too small or too commercial. He will eat it all, and tell you all about it. Direct taco related questions to taconightandday@gmail.com.

(Image: Taco Bell Facebook)