I don’t hate rice; I hate what is being done with rice. Rice can be wonderful, but for the love of god keep rice out of my Taco Salad! It seems that in an effort to lower food costs, rice is being plugged into nearly every menu item. I noticed it right away, and I’m sharing with you so that you will not be duped. It is true that having rice in your Frito Burrito is not going to ruin it, but it will break down your Taste Ratio. (Taste Ratio, commonly known as flavor, is one of the main factors when people choose food.) So, in an effort to fight ignorance I make this public service announcement: You do not have to eat the rice. At the end of every Taco Bell order, simply say “No rice on any of that please.” That one sentence will salvage your Smothered Burrito. Stand up for yourself.
(Note: if you are a fan of rice in your taco salad…well…there’s nothing I can do for you.)
P.S. Let’s end the war on buttered popcorn. It can and must co-exist with kettle corn. You cannot ONLY carry kettle corn. That is cruel. If we spent half of the time we spend making kettle corn on keeping rice out of our salads, the world would be a better place. And that’s the Taco Truth.
#tacobell #tacotruther #morelikeliceamiright #tommystacothursdays #livemas #schmettlecorn #tasteratio
Tommy Lee Brown teaches and performs at Dallas Comedy House. He is your man on the street, determined to eat. He is the belly of the city. No taco is too small or too commercial. He will eat it all, and tell you all about it. Direct taco related questions to firstname.lastname@example.org.
(Image: Taco Bell)